More Decline (Sun, 10 Apr, 2011)

Mom slept all afternoon yesterday. Around 9pm she woke up and wanted me to help her sit on the edge of the bed. She wanted to use the commode, so I moved it as close as possible to the edge of the bed so all she would have to do is stand up, turn around, and sit down. But she wasn't able to stand. Her legs were no longer able to support her weight, and she just collapsed back onto the bed. I was able to lift and swivel her onto the commode, but she couldn't help. Afterward, I got her back onto the edge of the bed. It was quite an ordeal to get her back into bed...she kind of fell backward, and then I lifted both legs into bed while she agonized at the pain in her hip. Luckily she only weighs a little over 100 pounds, so I was able to lift her shoulders and get her straightened out and settled in her bed. I gave her a pain pill and she went back to sleep, and I went upstairs and listened to the baby monitor.

Around 11:30pm she called me and I went downstairs. She was extremely anxious, almost like she had just awakened from a bad dream, and said that she couldn't get her breath, and she couldn't get hold of me and thought that maybe I had passed out or was sleeping or went somewhere (!). She wanted to sit on the edge of the bed, and she continued to be very anxious and worried. Her limbs were all jerking and she couldn't control it and couldn't even hold the plastic cup, so I had to help her have a sip of water. She wasn't very clear in what she said, but it was obvious that she was very anxious. I remembered that Hospice had sent out a sealed package of meds for use if necessary, and that one of them was for anxiety. So I called the Hospice number and shortly later the on-call nurse called me back. She told me which one to give her, and she asked if mom was in pain. She definitely was in extreme pain from her hip, so the nurse told me to give her some of the liquid pain killer. I gave both to mom, and then she started fretting that it was nitroglycerin and would "blow my heart out." I assured her that it wasn't and then sat with her for ten minutes or so. The meds took effect and she visibly calmed down and finally was willing to let me help her lay back down. I tucked her in and she went back to sleep.

She woke up again around 1:30am, and I went down and found her struggling to sit up, so I helped her to sit on the edge of the bed. She was MUCH calmer than earlier, and she said that her hip didn't hurt as much. She was pretty foggy, but her analytical brain was still working overtime and trying to figure out "what happened the other day." She concluded that she had been having an anxiety attack. I sat there with her for a while, then gave her another of the anti-anxiety pills and then helped her get back into bed.

She slept solidly all night and her breathing on the baby monitor has been very regular and deep. Karen the Hospice RN called just now to check on things and it sounds like we are doing everything correctly. Mom is peacefully sleeping, so all's quiet at the moment.